Ask The Flytrap: Must I Hide My Credentials to Get a Job in This Economy?
My family is depending on me, and I'm beyond exhausted.
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Let's get into it:
Dear Ask the Flytrap,
The economy sucks and that’s a given. I recently got written up at work after giving up on job hunting. I’m at my wits' end, because the only jobs I can seem to get are for ethically evil corporations. But I have to support a younger adult sibling with mental health issues preventing them from working, a grandparent with dementia, and my mother who is still working but is increasingly loosing mobility after a rough life.
I’m struggling to keep going just yesterday after getting a notice I had to take a half day because I was crying so much from exhaustion at my dilemma.
What should I do? No matter how much I want to take a break, I can’t, and it feels like I’m on my own. And to add insult to injury, I’m a BIPOC trans woman who is deliberately hiding her advanced credentials because I’m seen as a liability in leadership roles, and I can only get callbacks on frontline contributor roles.
With a deep sigh,
Can’t Keep Going
Dear Can’t Keep Going,
Allow me to virtually hold your hand as I say this: You aren’t alone in feeling discouraged—and none of this is your fault. I know living in a capitalistic hellscape can make us feel like we aren’t doing enough, and more importantly, that we aren’t enough. But, in reality, this isn’t a burden any of us should be shouldering. We’re not failing; we’ve been failed by the officials and the institutions that were supposed to protect our interests and have instead betrayed us to line their own pockets.
Our economy is fucked because, as I’m sure you know, some conservative politicians (including the damn president!) are robbing us in plain sight. Their greed has ruined the job market, the housing market, healthcare, the farming industry, and so many other essential elements of our lives. At the same time, corporations capitulated to a wannabe dictator, which eroded the checks-and-balances that could’ve prevented us from even falling into this endless void.
Everything is more expensive at the same time that us folks from marginalized communities are being hired less and earning less. You mentioned being a trans woman of color, which only stacks the odds even higher in a world that privileges whiteness and cisness. Who wouldn’t be crying from exhaustion when faced with such unimaginable and unfair circumstances?
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I’ve often bought into the idea that systemic failure is mine to own, and that it is mine to solve, but that is untrue for me, and it is equally as untrue for you. When the last publication I was leading folded in May 2025, I applied for 87 jobs in the span of three months. Of those 87 jobs, I heard back from five, and I was only able to secure a part-time contract job in October 2025. Companies that would have been banging down my door before the Trump regime assumed power for the second time wouldn’t even respond to my job application. It was misery-inducing. I spent many of those months feeling hopeless, bawling my eyes out, and believing that I was the problem. I simply wasn’t good enough.
You know what actually helped? Self-compassion, a phrase and concept that my therapist introduced me to. There’s not a lot we can control, but how we show up for ourselves is one thing we can. Self-compassion considers all of the circumstances without placing all the responsibility on us. It is a concept I now religiously practice, and I hope you’ll consider taking it up.
In these times, which I’m so tired of calling “unprecedented,” the best thing we can do is take care of ourselves. I don’t mean this in the pedantic way self-care has been defanged and removed from its more radical origins. I mean self-care at its most basic essence: creating habits and building community that prioritizes our survival above the systems that would rather see us dead than to treat us as human.
You’re supporting multiple family members who are navigating complex mental and physical illnesses while working for a soulless corporation, intentionally avoiding leadership positions, and needing a break that feels impossible to take. Self-care might be continuing to apply for jobs but only applying for one job each month and using the rest of time you would’ve spent applying reaching out to friends and mentors, having supportive phone calls, and getting feedback on your application materials. It could also look like finding a therapist who specializes in burnout, which, not to diagnose you (because I ain’t a therapist), seems like something you might be experiencing.
Self-care could be applying for FMLA, if that is an option, or building in intentional time to do nothing and be with yourself. It could be spending 10 minutes in the morning or in the evening journaling, maintaining a gratitude journal, watching a show, or reading a book. It’s sometimes in that stillness that our minds and bodies can find the reprieve you mentioned searching for. Maybe your next questions should be: What would it look like to take care of myself? What is one simple thing I could do daily, weekly, or monthly to step away from life’s rigmarole and check in with myself?
As simple as it sounds, here’s the reality: It’s impossible to show up for others if you’re not first showing up for yourself. That is our actual responsibility, and it can’t be delegated to anyone else. We are our own best thing, to paraphrase the beloved Toni Morrison, and we must treat ourselves as such. You are your own best thing, today and always, and whatever it takes to live into that purpose is worth the effort.
In love and solidarity,
— Evette
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